Ascent
Remembering the Mountain as a metaphor
Walking along the river recently, reflecting on the challenges I'm facing in starting and running my own business, I thought back to my first Snowdon Ascent. I thought about that time, about 2/3 of the way up, when there's barely any flat ground, just steps and more steps, muscles getting heavier (not enough preparation of course!), stopping more frequently to recover. It was tough both mentally and physically, but I knew for sure I would make it to the top, there was never any question of turning back. At this point I couldn't really see the peak, too misty, just a hazy view, but I knew there was a celebration there - of sorts.
I remember looking back down the mountain, thinking how far and how high I had climbed in such a short time - an amazing journey of challenge, learning, new friends and connections made, laughter shared and a few tears shed - definitely no turning back, having come this far; too far; I knew I would make it.
And I think that's where I am now in my life, on this new, challenging and fantastic journey; I'm at those steep steps, needing to replenish, the helping hand of a guide or two and tempted briefly to turn back, back to the old well-trodden road. Then I remind myself of that journey to the top of Snowdon and it restores my belief that I can make it to the first peak of my new mountain. I'm reminded of what the journey means for me, what first inspired me to take this path - the peak looks a little clearer now!





2 Comments:
I think we all go through dark patches where we wonder where the sun went and suddenly realise we're not quite sure where we are or where we're headed. It takes a while to get our bearings before we can start moving again. I know I experience that from time to time. It's usually the same kinds of things that send me into a sprial of self doubt, and you'd think that by my age I would be wise to it by now! I often feel envious of our Ascent guests and one day I plan to experience it for myself. Whenever I go up Snowdon my head is so full of other stuff I rarely get time to think about what is important for me to explore. I know exactly what I'm afraid of, yet it keeps creeping back to haunt me. Any suggestions gratefully received! As for turning back to see how far I have come, all I see is the other paths I could have travelled.... In fact, what I see is the path back to the Pen Y Pass car park that winds down from the first hard bit on the PYG track. It's the path that you see on the website and the back of the Ascent business cards. When I see that image, I become aware of how tired I am at that point! I think I need something new to focus on. Any ideas?
Having returned from the Ascent Snowdon experience almost two weeks ago, Jenny's words strike a cord and the mention of those endless steps remind me why my legs still ache!
I can also echo the feelings she expresses around sometimes feeling the pull of the old and familiar, if not satisfying past.
I can identify with the actual experience of seldom, if ever, on the entire weekend seeing the mountain top clearly, thanks to endless mist and almost every imaginable type of rain. A personal insight I'd like to offer is that during my experience the mountain never ceased to be more than a metaphor for my goal and as such, I noted how much easier it was to manage the clarity of my internally generated and imagined goal, in contrast to that of it's allegorical counterpart.
It seems to me the more vivid and alive I make my goal (for want of a better word) the less inclined I am to consider anything else. I guess it has become like the feeling Jenny expressed about reaching the top, in that there just isn't any possibility of not manifesting it.
Thanks Jen...
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